BLOG and Other Gross Words

I can't believe I now have a blog.

Jesus.

This is something I swore I would never do, partly because there are way too many blogs afoot in the world already, partly because I usually have nothing to say (and what I do have to say pretty much no one should ever hear), but mostly because I hate the very word BLOG.

However, I'm seven months pregnant and bored and full of Pirate Booty and my judgment is impaired, so I'm doing this anyway.

In honor of my contempt for the very word "blog," I will launch this, my shameless new foray into the BLOGOSPHERE (eeeew), with a list of other words that I hate. Don't get me wrong; with the exception of the word "blog" itself, I don't have anything against what the following words actually represent (as opposed to words like aspic and merkin and Goldschläger and valance and vaginosis, which not only sound awful but also mean awful things). No, in this case, I'm talking about innocent words that have the misfortune of just being hateful, the way some very nice people are born with the misfortune of having terrible skin or halitosis.

I hate these words. I hate the way they look on paper, and I hate the way they sound. I experience them much the same way I experience smelly pots of bad stew or wet globs of toilet paper on the slimy locker room floors of public pools. I'm sure you'll agree. They are gross. Here they are:

wedge

macadam

turnkey

codex

filch

dollop

shimmy

grotto

crosshatch

burnish

granule

plinth

sedan

There are many more, but I can't think of them right now.